How to Resolve Social Conflicts in Kindergarten

Social Conflict Resolution, an Important Developmental Milestone

Learning to navigate and resolve conflicts in a healthy way is foundational for developing empathy, self-regulation, and communication skills—all of which are key to building positive relationships. Let’s explore why these social conflicts arise at this age and how we can support our young learners in mastering these important skills.

Why Social Conflicts Arise for Four- and Five-Year-Olds

As children reach four and five, they begin to shift from mostly parallel play (playing alongside others without much interaction) to more interactive, cooperative play. This transition often brings about new dynamics, as children have to navigate sharing, turn-taking, and considering others’ perspectives. These interactions are critical for developing a sense of independence and self-identity. However, as they begin to express their preferences and assert their individuality, conflicts can naturally arise.

At this age, children’s emotional regulation skills are still developing, so feelings like frustration, excitement, or disappointment can feel intense and overwhelming. They are just beginning to understand that others have different thoughts and feelings, which is why conflicts may come up when friends want to play in different ways, use the same materials, or seek attention in group settings. These are all normal parts of their social and emotional growth.

How We Support Conflict Resolution in the Classroom

Reading Books

Our JK students recently read a book called, Kindness Grows by Britta Teckentrup. This book uses beautiful illustrations of a tree to symbolize acts of kindness. With acts of kindness, the tree begins to grow and more and more leaves are added. When someone is hurtful, cracks start to form in the tree representing our emotions. Through these visuals, students made connections with real-life situations and had beautiful discussions about taking care of their JK team and helping every student grow leaves on their tree. 

Naming Emotions

We encourage children to identify and name their emotions—whether it’s feeling “mad,” “sad,” “excited,” or “left out.” When children recognize and label their feelings, it becomes easier to manage them and communicate with others. We use visuals and stories to illustrate these emotions, helping children become familiar with identifying their own and others’ feelings.

Using Words and “I” Statements

To empower children to express themselves clearly, we teach them to use “I” statements, like “I feel sad because…” or “I need help when…” Using this structure makes it easier for children to express their needs and feelings without placing blame. Practicing these statements helps children feel heard and encourages them to listen to others in return.

Building Empathy through Perspective-Taking

Through discussions and stories, we encourage children to think about how others might feel in different situations. Simple phrases like “How do you think your friend feels right now?” help them step into someone else’s shoes. Practicing empathy builds understanding and promotes compassion, which are essential to positive social interactions.

Positive Reinforcement and Celebrating Successes

Finally, we make it a point to recognize and celebrate when children make positive choices in resolving conflicts. Acknowledging these efforts boosts their confidence and reinforces the value of working through challenges in a constructive way.